he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
