not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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