Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
