we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we made out on top of his cat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
