i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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