Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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