When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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