My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
