legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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