I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
