The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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