I smell stomach acid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize