If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
where am i from again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
