I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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