If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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