wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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