everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize