Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
