This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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