im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
