If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize