why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
