Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
