She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
