32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
