Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
