no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
