We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
