i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
