I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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