I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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