9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
