So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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