I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
