If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
