Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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