I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
