I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize