He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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