Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
