YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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