i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need water and some morals
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
