weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize