so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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