he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
