barbara walters just said penis...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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