so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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