i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize