I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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