you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
