You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
