True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize