i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
