Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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