I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
